Blog: Returning to HOME

1 July 2019

    Photo by Jassy Earl
    Photo by Jassy Earl

    by Luke Pell, Home Lab Leader

    (Returning to) HOME

    What is the weight of this word?

    What was it, what is it, what could it be
    How does home change, feel, get found, get made
    From what

    Is it made of things?

    Of wood, of branch, of dirt, a box
    Of stone, of sky, of stars
    Of lines, in sand, in land, in time, across water

    Is it made of skins?

    Of flesh, of blood - beating in chest, a warm hand, your breath
    A smile
    or, something, hard, cold, closed, broken, gone, never was, never known

    Does it come with…
    To settle
    To dwell
    To be in residence

    Here, I am at home, my most at home, amongst these people, like a pig in muck.
    Why? In opening up a space of meeting, mattering, caring, laughing, loving, longing, listening, I heard myself say “home was some people who are not here anymore,” but they are close.

    And these people are here. These people are near, nearer, now. Why? We walked and talked and ate and laughed and moved and cried, exploring the breadth of home, making new friends, new neighbours, thinking through our practice by doing, by playing, by getting in the messy bits and seeing what comes from asking questions of things we are passionate about, things we are perplexed by.

    What is shelter, what is your refuge, why and if it has to change, what remains, what would - could you let go of?

    Why make a nest?
    To be warm, to be still, to be hidden, to be here
    To rest, to lay-down, roots, to heal

    Why make this nook?

    To look out -in order to look in
    To look in - in order to look out

    A den, a lair, a cave, a pasture, a flat, surface, sheet, palm of hand, threshing, barn, burrow, ships, decking, mountain, floor.

    Something temporary. It is all, temporary.

    Where have you come from?
    Where have you been?
    Where will you go?

    These constellations and convergences, loops of living, reaching, out, branching out, rooting


    In a world
    In a place
    In company

    This world, your worlds, our worlds, worlding, wording, calling things, naming things, sharing things, together, re-imagining, re-shaping, changing things.

    Place making
    Space making
    Space taking

    What does it take to feel at home in our own skins?

    To have that gift, that privilege
    And some space
    Space between
    The here and now and then to come

    To leave
    To go
    To move

    To say
    Goodbye… for now

    We made this, together:

    Home was something I lost for a while

    Home was a very lonely place

    Home was nature

    Home was some people who are no longer here

    Home was something I carried with me

    Home was something that ended and has begun again

    Home was an object, my backpack, which I lived out of, but it’s not anymore

    Home was always being on the move

    Home was something I couldn’t grasp and now home is something I can grasp a little bit more

    Home is the story between the coming and the going and the toing and the froing

    Home is food and people and nature

    Home is a feeling of safety, warmth and it’s my family

    Home is belonging

    Home is very distant

    Home is my parent’s house

    Home is being comfortable in yourself, with yourself

    Home is a notebook filled with ideas, concepts and new challenges

    Home is a choice

    Home is this PUSHplus family

    Home is right here

    Home is finding a way, a pace, a start

    Home is leaning into, speeding up, and letting go

    Home is making space, some people will follow the rules, other people will make their own

    We seek to find home together

    Home could be something that is not static, something that you bring with you

    Home could be something we are all able to create for each other

    Home could be anything I want it to be

    Home could be a cat that I didn’t think I’d like

    I wish, that I remember how it’s all felt and that it stays close with me

    I wonder if I’ll ever find home

    I wish, the world was always like the last eight days and people from all over the world, could feel the love and generosity we all felt towards one another and feel really happy about that, and I wonder if that’s possible, I wonder if that’s home. I wonder if that feeling of love and connectivity with strangers, who stop being strangers after a while, I wonder if that’s what home, is.

    (Returning to) HOME - A reflection from PUSHPlus Home Lab Leader Luke Pell closed with the closing reflection of the participants